I am going to take a taste test today at 2:30. I get paid twenty dollars for it. Hey, I would take a taste test even if I didn't get paid for it. I love tasting. Helpful advice from my grandma when I told her about the test: "take big bites Annie, then you won't need dinner." That's why I love her!

We went out for a hike on Saturday and ended up climbing rocks! Also, we went canoeing and saw two beavers. I think canoeing is one of my favorite outdoor things to do. I like laying in the bottom and sleeping.

Photo by Paul 

Well, it's a hot day here in PDX. Yesterday Paul put the air conditioner in our bedroom window. Alas, the poor little machine only cools one room even if we strategically direct the air flow with fans. It doesn't often reach the 90's here.
We have harvested spinach, lettuce and radishes from our garden so far this year. Oh, how I wish I had a digital camera. I would take pictures of all our produce. Paul is such a diligent farmer. The rows are planned perfectly and placed painstakingly. Each vegetable is cottled and harvested at exactly the right time. I'm so proud of my perfectionist husband. He really is reaping the rewards and daily explodes with joy at some new change in the garden.
Well, that's the news here in Portland, Oregon. Where the sun shines brightly, the vegetables grow strong, and the husbands are above average.

This chuckle is being brought to you by our neighbor Jason Johanson, who even told me I could take credit for this one if I put it on my blog:

Student: "Jason, Eric said the 'G' word!!!"

Jason: "What is the 'G' word?"

Student (whispers): "Jerk."

If you are a person who sees Paul pretty often you may notice that up until now he has been wearing a different variation of the same thing for most of his life. Don't get me wrong, I love the look! But, there are only so many combinations of jeans and t-shirt possible. Paul and I decided that new threads were in order. We went shopping today specifically for Paul. He's now a fan of the funky button up shirt! You'll notice next time you see him - a new confidence - a new style. I do have one thing to say though, we did buy an ungodly amount of polo shirts. I guess you can't teach an "old Paul new tricks".

The following pictures are courtesy of Peter and Jessica Stitcher, our new friends across the parking lot who are new here in PDX. It's so great to live near friends. SIX of our neighbors stopped by today at different times including Peter and Jess. SIX!!! I feel so blessed!

Paul, Michael and Peter at the Ape Caves 

Peter, Michael and Paul 

Kindergartener shows me a picture of a rainbow and asks me:

"Is this a shooting star?"

Get a free ipod HERE

Not only do we have pet birds, we now have pet squirrels. We didn't want the squirrels as pets, but ya put food out and who knows what kind of animal you will attract... By the way, we have yet to see a bird take a bath in our bird bath.

If you were praying for me today, thanks. The interview went well.

As I was on my way to the interview, I stopped to get gas at a local gas station. When the attendant (who was a nice, older man) saw that I was dressed up, he asked if I was going to work. I said no, I'm actually on my way to an interview. He looked me straight in the eye and with the kindest, most sincere smile on his face he said, "Oh, I just know you're gonna be great. I'll bet you're just the person they're looking for." It made my day!

Home Sweet Home! (last fall) 

In an effort to attract more pet birds to our house, Paul is putting in a birdbath. I'll let you know how it works out. No luck on the dog issue either. I tried pleading in my most pitiful voice. He's immune. So we can have more birds, but no dog, where's the logic in that!!!

Odd experience of the week:

We bought a book about our new truck (manual type) on Half.com the other day. A few hours later a man shows up at our door with the book and money to reimburse for the shipping we paid. HE LIVED IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. Of all the places in the world this book could come from, he lived in our NEIGHBORHOOD. It actually wierded me out a little.
For those of you who don't know how half.com works: if you have a book you want to sell you can just post it on this website and people can buy them from you and it's your responsibility to send it to them. Kind of like eBay without the bidding.

(this is my 101st post to my blog!)

Kindergarten:

Student draws many slashes, dashes, and squiggly lines in thier journal.

"Look Mrs. Robinson, I'm writing in Chinese."

For a reward today let the kids watch "The Fox and the Hound". We watched half of it on Friday and half today. I am amazed at how much kids love that movie even though it was made in my childhood. Our family had a record of the soundtrack to the Fox and the Hound and we used to listen to it over and over. I can still hear Big Momma...

Sharing this morning: (kids get to share things that happened to them or are important to them)

Student 1: I got to see Shrek 2 on Sunday...

Student 2: I got to see Shrek 2 on Saturday...

Student 3: I got to see Shrek 2 on Saturday...

Quote of the Day:

"Any purchase over fifty dollars gets you a good hit of pot."

-a man trying to make deals with us at a garage sale (he was serious too)

I got my first apple today! I have been subbing at the same second grade classroom for a few days and today when I looked on my desk there was a perfect red apple with a little note taped to it that said, "To Annie From Madeliene". My heart leapt with joy. I can't tell you how wonderful it made me feel. My very first apple. I went out and bought myself some shoes for the occasion. They make my feet look like little presents - you'd have to see them. They're red.

Paul and I are participating in not buying gas today, although we are not sure this whole thing will work. We only have a fourth of a tank left, so there will be no hikes in the gorge tonight.

Thieves stole a rare penguin called Piglet from a sea life center in northeast England and dumped it in a garden, police said Tuesday. You have to be some bored thieves to target a penguin ...

Taking a walk after Easter dinner 

The Robinson's and the Tuppers 

Well, I just wrote a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking post about my spiritual struggle with job searching, but it accidentally got erased, so I will not write it over again. It's a cloudy day here in Lake Wobegon (er- I mean Portland). The mist is rising over the West Hills. It's a day when I wish I had a bike.
I don't know if any of you know this but Paul and I have some pet birds. Well, they really are wild and they live outside but we like to think of them as our own. We hung a bird feeder a couple months ago and now our house is the most popular gourmet hangout for all the birds in Portland. Seriously, birdseed is going to start taxing our budget. Someday, when I have my own digital camera I will take a picture. I can hear them right now because the backdoor is open. It's very comforting and now I think living here would be boring without the sound of our pet birds. Another thing about pets, I want a dog, but Paul is against it. That's another post.....

Another picture - my brother's at Easter riding things. My Mom and Aunt Becky are on the right. 

My first time posting a picture to my blog. This is Paul on Sauve Island last December. 

Another Quote of the Day:

"It's just a fact of life, black people can BARBQUE. It's a whole 'nother world o' cookin'."

-Paul, after eating some ribs at our friend Letha's graduation party

Quote of the Day:

"Hmmmm.... I think I need those."

-five year old girl looking at some shoes (they start younger every day!)

A deli owner is being credited with saving the life on a 90-year-old customer who never misses her morning coffee. So when she failed to show up the other day, the owner got worried and called police, who rushed to her home in the nick of time. Parsippany police say that if Chris Kim hadn't called them, his 90-year-old customer probably would have died in her bath tub, where she had been trapped for almost two full days. That's customer service ...

Joke of the Day:

"So John Kerry walks into a bars and the bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"

It's officially b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l outside today and I'm staying home from work, partly because I'm "all stuffed up" and partly because -hey- it's 85 degrees today. Our weekend was great, Paul and I helped his parents get moved into their new house. It has a hot tub, so we're pretty excited about that.

Other things we did this weekend:
-bought kumquats (Paul swears that I will like them)
-rocked out at church
-barbecued
-walked at Hoyt Arboretum
-ate out at Red Robin (the place we always go when we can't decide where to go and don't want to try anything new)

Note to the Teacher:

We had a problem with student inserting inappropriate things into the pencil sharpener. When I confronted them they said it was an "experiment".

Quote of the Day:

"I think New Year's Eve is just a conspiracy to make you want Jamba Juice the next day. Think about it: hangovers, resolutions... um... it's winter, so you don't get much fruit in your diet..."
"Do you think maybe the holiday is older than Jamba Juice?"
--Two guys in line at Jamba Juice.

Yesterday I saw "The Velveteen Rabbit" at the Keller Auditorium.

Just got back from a Saturday morning walk with my good friend Kara and good dog Tucker. It's a good day for baking something to take to our friends house tonight. By the way, my husband is s-t-i-l-l wearing the old T-shirts and now when I comment about it he just laughs at me.

Why did the words on my blog suddenly become bigger? If anyone knows how to fix this please email me.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

Someone please tell me what this is all about: I buy my husband white T-shirts at JC Penney's - they are a certain brand because that's all he likes. I bought the same exact T-shirts that he wears now. Yet he is still wearing the old T-shirts. You can see his skin tone thru the shirt!

A few weeks ago:

ME: Here are your new T-shirts.
Paul: The are too big.
ME: They will shrink. They are exactly the same size as the ones you have now.
Paul: OK

Today:

ME: Why are you wearing your old T-shirts?
Paul: They are too long. You said they would shrink but they haven't.

I give up.

One thing I hate about this week: Easter candy. Sugar was not meant to be consumed in large portions. It makes kids just plain creepy.

Kindergartener shows me a picture of a rainbow:

"Is this a shooting star?"

My nephew turned three weeks old yesterday. I got to hold him on Saturday for the very first time. For a three week old baby he makes really funny faces. He was sleeping in a basinet that my mom has at her house and at one point my whole family was in there just staring at him. We are officially IN LOVE.

Update:

Some of you know that due to recent events our car is no longer capable of speeds higher than 40 miles per hour. This makes traveling difficult and slow and going to costco almost impossible. Well, this morning I am going to pick up our new (to us) Ford Ranger!!! It will be the first car we have ever bought together. Is anyone in the market for a fabulously well aged Nissan Sentra - great "around town" car.

Quote of the day:

"So...how often do you wash a kid like this?"

-my little brother to my sister in law about her three week old son

Quote 'o' the day:

"I'm not gettin' any younger here."

- third grader, age eight

Oh Crap!!

Today as I was playing a game with the students in a moment of frustration I said a big no no. I was supposeed to be watching the students to see which one raised thier hand first and I was reading so I missed it. I looked up and as I realized my mistake I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh CRAP!". Instantly I clasped my hand over my mouth as the classroom exploded in laughter and looks of shock...

I apologized.

I hate Spring forward. That's all I have to say.

Today Paul and Peter dug a garden in Peter's backyard (our neighbors house). When they were digging they found a glass pipe...

Me trying to wake Paul up this morning...

ME: Good morning glory.....................wake uuuuuuuuup............................Seize the day!.........................CARPE DIEM!

PAUL: (mumbles) What's the point?

later...

PAUL: What d'you say about a carpet day?

Quote of the Day:

"We ain't stayin' at the Hilton lady."

-Paul's comment to me complaining about some drawers in our kitchen

Quote of the Day:

"Please don't push or crowd. We will be opening the doors momentarily. "

- official at a job fair for teachers I went to yesterday

Note about this: Teachers never follow the rules. They always talk in class or staff meetings, cut in lines, etc.

I just read a really good book, Blue Like Jazz, by Don Miller who lives here in Portland.

"The first generation out of slavery invented jazz music. It is a music birthed out of freedom. And that is the closest thing I know to Christian spirituality. A music birthed out of freedom. Everybody sings thier song the way they feel it, everybody closes thier eyes and lifts up thier hands."

-Blue Like Jazz, page 239

Quote of the Day:
"She was the best wife in the world for fifty five years....we'll see her again in a better place. Even better than New Jersey."

- Paul's Grandpa

Quote of the Day
"Annie, it wasn't a nice present when I threw up on you that one time was it?"

-anonymous preschooler who really did throw up on me in Sunday School

Believe it or not, I have never been to Learning Palace. I always thought it was for teachers who weren't creative enough to think of things on their own (I can be snobby sometimes, everyone has an ugly side). Well, today I went and let me tell you this place is like cocaine or heroin for teachers. Seriously, I could have spent ALL day there. If you are a parent or teacher, let me warn you, it's a dangerous place. Fortunately, I was there to spend my church's money (I am in charge of getting supplies for preschool Sunday School), so not much damage was done. I had myself convinced that since I can write teaching things off on my taxes and they give a ten percent discount it's really practically FREE. You'll be happy to know that I have landed safely back in the land of reality.

Do you ever wonder, "Is anyone listening besides my Dad?" If you read my blog regularly, please email me.

Daily Deep Thought (or two):

"I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?"

"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."

More Deep Thoughts

The other day I saw a clown driving a van and I thought, "This is exactly how this week has been for me." Totally unexpected and wierd. Many things that we have been dreading have happened, but also many things that we had been looking forward to. It's just funny that it all happened in the same week.

More Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy:

"After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?"

It's Spring Break folks. I bet you are all thinking, "Gee, this lady sure gets a lot of days off." You would be RIGHT. Subbing has it's perks. My current project is wiping out my cupboards which I am currently taking a break from.

IMPORTANT NEWS: I am now an aunt. My nephew said a big hello to the world on Monday at a whopping 9 pounds 13 ounces. I waiting for my brothers permission before I post a picture. If I do, the little Tupper will be my first picture blog (I hope I can figure that out).

Have a wonderful day!

I love "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handy. One of my favorites is,

"A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

For more click HERE.

Hi, lately I have been suffering from bloggers block, probably because I have been sick. I'm on the other end of it now though. It's a throat problem. I've spent a day and a half on my deathbed and now it's time to live again. My cold's are much shorter these days since I've found some miracle herbs that cure me every time.

The Robinson's made an important purchase this week - a rope for rock climbing. Just one more activity to add to our repertoire of outdoor stuff. Now we can canoe, rock climb, backpack, camp, etc. Much to Paul's delight.

Update: Now we can mountain climb too since my Dad just found some crampons and an ice ax at a garage sale for thirty dollar. He's handy to have around.

Overheard comment made by a kindergartener to a friend:

"Did you see me just now? Just then, I just looked like Beyonce."

I've had a dry spell of good stories to write in my blog, even though I have been busy. I'm feeling better about looking for a job too. The school system here run in rounds, so that the most experienced teachers get first dibs at the jobs. I am in (of course) the last round of hiring, but I was encouraged by some teachers that were telling me that alot of the good jobs don't even open up until the last round.
I wish I had a digital camera so I could take some pictures of some of the flowers that are blooming around our hosue. Spring is here!
I am expecting a new baby nephew any day now. Everytime the phone rings I think, he's HERE! But not yet. I will post when he comes.

Kindergarten

Student: Miss Wendy said that I could be the substitute teacher today.
ME: Oh she did? How about if we teach together?
Student: (shrugs) O.K.
ME: Can you lead the Hippo Song?
Student: No
ME: Can you lead the Circle song?
Student: No
ME: Well take a look at our schedule (go over schedule with student). Do you think we left anything out?
Student: Well, actually, yeah.
ME: What?
Student: We should have making mud pies in there somewhere...

Friday Five

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?

Annie = Mrs. Conrad (shiver, shiver)
Paul = Can't remember

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?

Annie = Darkwing Duck (technically afterschool but still my fav)
Paul = G. I. Joe or Transformers in Spanish

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?

Annie = Lisa Hamilton
Paul = can't remember

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?

Annie = Fruit Loops
Paul = Lucky Charms when in the states

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?

Annie = have a snack, read
Paul = doesn't know

Student: Who are you again?

ME: I found this book in a park when I was on a camping trip? Would you like me to read it to you?
Students: Yeah, yeah. (nod in agreement)
ME: Have any of you ever been camping?
Student: Camping? (surprised and astonished look) That's dangerous!

This morning - very, very early in the morning Paul and I heard helicopters circling around and around.

"They must be looking for a fugative," I thought.

When we woke up we could still hear them, there is a rapist on the loose in our neighborhood (don't worry mom my husband is watching out for me and has pronouced death to the man who harms his wife) so we thought maybe they were looking for him.

That is, until I went to work this morning. I was driving to the Hawthorne bridge and just on the corner of Hawthorne and Grand is the courthouse building (about 12 blocks away from our home sweet fourplex) and all the gay couples were lined up to get married. There were reporters and everything.

Then I got to work and I had to call the person I was subbing for. Guess where she was? At the courthouse getting MARRIED to her partner.

Then as I was coming home I saw the same scene again only huge. News trucks, helicopters, the works. Paul and I are going to walk down there now and watch the circus. History in the making whether you like it or not.

I was just called by the phone-a-thon students. Those of you who went to MBC will recognize this as an incredibly painful but necessary night in which you spend four hours calling alumni and asking for money. Now they are calling me!

There are some seriously impressive blogs out there. It makes me feel humble. These people have links and you can leave messages for them and everything. It's amazing. I have been having fun checking out blogs from teachers and also christian blogs.
Check this one out from a christian teacher: What in Tarnation?
Also, this one is impressive. There is so much so see. I'm still trying to figure out how to let people email me. Jen Speaks
Stayed home today (no jobs) and washed all my windows, inside and out. The reason for this was because I really couldn't stand to look at another job posting. I would rather do housework than job hunt. I also found the coolest cow serving tray at a thrift store. The bad news is that there is no more housework to do, so if I stay home tomorrow I'm stuck with the job hunting.

Note I recieved today:

"I think Mrs. Robinson is the best supstut ever."

I was picking the students up from the playground in the morning where they wait for their teachers. The grass was moist and dewey and it was morningy.

Student: Mrs. Robinson, you shouldn't walk in the grass in the morning.
ME: Why?
Student: Because a lot of people bring their dogs here and the dogs go poop and the principal doesn't have time to clean it all up before we get here.

You are Marcie!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

"I'm warning you, I'm not a counselor, I'm not even a middle school teacher," I said to the middle school "behavior management specialist" whom I was there to replace. Once in a while there are not enough substitutes to go around and the automated voice calls you for a job you are not really qualified for. I guess, technically, I am a certified teacher. But let me tell you, the middle schoolers and I both know that I'm not supposed to be there.

I wonder how the behavior management specialist ended up teaching golf? This was the only class I had to teach in the afternoon so I made my mind up that I could make it through. I went to the gym thinking that there would be a person coming to teach golf and I would just be there to help. When I got to the gym the PE teacher told me that the golf teacher would not be there today. "Good luck", she said. I have learned that when someone tells you good luck (especially secretaries) it's never a good thing.

So it's really hard for me to look like I know what I am doing when I don't - especially when it comes to sports. The only other times I taught junior high I made the mistake of telling them I was really an elementary school teacher. That was not a good move.

I'll have to say that the golf lesson went very well. I even have to say that the day was rather amusing, although I will never go back. Paul wants to go back to school next year to be a middle school science teacher. I say good luck.

Student: I'm so tired. I stayed up all night because of that scary movie.
ME: What movie?
Student: Snow White

Oh, and get this: Paul spent the whole time we were at the library - almost two hours - in the math section. I love my husband.

As Paul and I were walking out of the library tonight I whispered to Paul, "Sometimes the library is a scary place." There was a man bugging a librarian because "he was very unhappy with their service". All I have to say is, you've hit an all time low when you feel you have to harass a LIBRARIAN.

I was a middle school counselor last week for (thank goodness) only half a day. I'm sure there will be more on this later. It was quite a harrowing experience. I don't want to give it all away but I actually had to teach GOLF. I know some of you who know me well are laughing right now because the actual amount of coordination and knowledge that I have in this area could be contained in a hollow easter egg.
More on this later...
(I took notes while I was there for my blog knowing that it was good material - I think I am a blogging nerd)

Paul and I were teaching Preschool Children's Church yesterday and we were learning about the Good Samaritan. I asked the kids if they could tell me the story and one boy did. When we got to the part where the man gets rescued he said, "And then the American guy came and helped him out."

I was teaching kindergarten today. I was supervising recess when one of my students came.

Student: I have to go to the bathroom.
ME: You can go inside and use the bathroom.
Student: Or I could just go out here.
ME: Thats not a good idea.

I'm sick today (thanks Kelina :)). Paul keeps telling me to just put on more clothes (I'm not cold I just have a cold). Yesterday I took some Claritin 24 hour non-drowsy extended release cold medicene in the morning to help get me through the day because I had to work. It worked. I was actually not drowsy for (almost) 24 hours. I couldn't go to sleep until 3:30 last night. Good thing I didn't have to work today.

I just finished a "wonderful" book that every teacher should read.
Click here to read about Ron Clark and "The Essential 55"

Today I was teaching in a second grade class that had a student teacher. Being a recent student teacher myself, I tried to generate some excitement about her.

ME: I hear you have a great student teacher.
Students: Yeah
ME: What are some of the things you like about her?
Student: She does cool science experiments with us.
Student: She's nice.
Student: I like her because she is a teenager.
ME: Really? A teenager? She looks older than that to me.
Student: I think she's about 18 or 20.
ME: Well how old do you think I am?
Student: Probably about 30.

Turns out we are the same age...

Overheard conversation today (first grade):

"Guess what? On my birthday my cat crawled into my pinata."

Paul and I celebrated Valentines Day in Seattle with my best friend Sarah and her boyfriend Paul. Sarah got both Pauls T-shirts that say "Paul" and Sarah and I got T-shirts that say "I love Paul". I wish I had a digital camera.
We also ate at (in my opinion) the best fish and chips place ever: "Spuds" on Alki Beach.

Yesterday a very disrespectful little boy called me "Mrs. Whatever". It was one of those days that seems to drag on and on and on and on. At one point I looked at the clock and thought, I can't believe I have only been here one hour.
Today was a different story however. For an hour we watched "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and ate cupcakes and cookies.
That's the thing, when I wake up I really have no idea what will happen or where I will go or if I will have fun. It's pretty much an adventure.

The Robinson's have entered the age of information. Paul and I set up our DSL account today. We keep our same email address, and now we are able to talk on the phone and surf the net AT THE SAME TIME. This has taken on new importance to us since most of the calls I get for subbing come in the evening during prime surfing time for Paul.

Please say it ain't so. According to Mattel toys, Barbie and Ken have officially called it quits. Many suspect Cali Girl Barbie somehow involved, however, it is reported that they "will remain friends".

Good grief I can't resist these ones about religion & food:

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
Fulton Sheen.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'."
Charlie Brown.

"It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher."
Linda Evangelista.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Mariah Carey.

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
Steven Wright.

In honor of my brother and sister in law who are about to become parents, here are some funny quotes about kids:

"I like children - fried."
WC Fields.

"Everytime a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies', there's a a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead."
JM Barrie.

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
Bill Cosby.

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
Jim Bishop.

"When you're eight years old nothing is your business."
Lenny Bruce.

"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television."
Erma Bombeck.

"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble."
Martin Mull.

"Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath."
Richard Zera.

"The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old."
Jean Kerr.

"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."
Joan Rivers.

"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'."
Steven Wright.

On Friday I was teaching a second grade class and we were reading folk tales (like John Bunyan). We were talking about folk tales and I asked them how they could tell if a story was old or new.

"When I was in kindergarten they read me the same story, so it's REALLY old."

Today in Sunday school I asked our preschoolers if they knew what being blind was (it was the story of Jesus healing the blind man). One girl said, "Some girls have blind hair."

Tonight Paul and I were reading and drinking coffee at our favorite "crepe and coffee" place - Java Vivace. If you hang out in a coffee shop in Portland long enough you are bound to see something weird.
A man came in the door waving an umbrella above his head, in calm, almost robotic-like movements. He never stopped waving the umbrella and came into the room we were in with some other patrons and turned in a circle waving the umbrella all around the room. The whole time he was saying in a monotone voice, "I read the Oxford Collegiate Dictionary. I read the Oxford Collegiate Dictionary. I read the Oxford Collegiate Dictionary." Then he turned around and left just as quickly as he came in.
Paul and I were silent for a moment. We looked around to see what other people's reactions would be. One couple chuckled and rolled their eyes. The barista didn't even raise an eyebrow. No one else made any motion that signified that anything out of the ordinary had just happened in the room.
After a few minutes I had to start laughing, knowing that no one would be paying attention to me, just like they didn't pay attention to the crazy man.

The names in this story have been changed to protect the guilty.
Get ready for this: kids know alot more nowdays than they did five years ago. One time I was subbing for a second grade class and I was flipped off by a student. This story really contains two forms of misbehavior - tattling and swearing - the classics of childhood.
Here's how it went down:
It's a typical overcast day in the northwest. I line up my students and march them outside to go home. Now, one thing you have to know is that students who misbehave naturally gravitate towards the back of the line so that they can talk and, in this case, swear. I haven't really found a good way of preventing this.
When we reach our destination outside a stampede of second graders heads towards me. Seriously, about ten children. You know when a student is about to tattle because they have a look of victory and horror / disgust in thier eyes. It only takes a few days to learn this look. It makes a teacher want to run for cover.
"Eric said the f-word."
"Eric said a bad word."
"Eric is swearing."
This continues for a while. All this while I am saying, "I know. I realize that. Please go back in line. I know.........."
Finally, a boy comes up to me after all the others have left, very seriously, and said, "I heard Eric say the word that means this."

And then he gave me the finger. In front of a whole playground full of teachers, students and parents. It was one of those moments that you remember in slow motion.

I knew that he thought that it was a nicer way of saying the same thing, so I talked to him a bit about why we don't use that gesture.

Even though I think it's sad that second graders know the f-word, this one of my best stories. I told this story one time to some friends and one person said that when he was working with kids a student came to him and complained that someone had called him the j-word. When he asked him what the j-word was he said, "Jerk."

Quote of the Day

"Retirement is when people get really old and they just stop working. Then they can do whatever they want. My grandpa goes golfing every day."

- a first grader

I just walked to the library and stopped by Zupan's. When I was coming out of Zupans an older (probably homeless) man asked me a question. I couldn't understand what he was asking me because he didn't have any teeth so I asked him to repeat himself.

"Do you currently indulge in the habit of nicotine?"

Now I don't often get asked if I have any smokes because I really don't look like I smoke, but this is the most creative way I have ever been asked for a cigarette.

Yesterday during a particularly boring lesson (not my choice of course - but one that the teacher left for me to do), my students were actually pretending to fall asleep. I was tempted to let them get away with it.

After working in both an emergency room and the public school system I really do believe in full moons. They effect people. Yesterday the school secretary ran out of ice at recess. (entering the twilight zone)

Kindergarteners sometimes freak out when a sub shows up. Sometimes I talk to them about how thier teacher and I are alike and different just to calm thier fears.

ME: How are Ms. Smith and I different?
Student: She has black hair and you have short hair.
Another Student: Your neck is bigger than hers.
Another Student: Yeah, like a giraffe.
Another Student: Yeah, you look like a giraffe.

So you can see where this conversation was going. I stopped them short before they went on to other body parts.

The best part of today was watching "Finding Nemo". It's a tough job but someone has to do it.