The names in this story have been changed to protect the guilty.
Get ready for this: kids know alot more nowdays than they did five years ago. One time I was subbing for a second grade class and I was flipped off by a student. This story really contains two forms of misbehavior - tattling and swearing - the classics of childhood.
Here's how it went down:
It's a typical overcast day in the northwest. I line up my students and march them outside to go home. Now, one thing you have to know is that students who misbehave naturally gravitate towards the back of the line so that they can talk and, in this case, swear. I haven't really found a good way of preventing this.
When we reach our destination outside a stampede of second graders heads towards me. Seriously, about ten children. You know when a student is about to tattle because they have a look of victory and horror / disgust in thier eyes. It only takes a few days to learn this look. It makes a teacher want to run for cover.
"Eric said the f-word."
"Eric said a bad word."
"Eric is swearing."
This continues for a while. All this while I am saying, "I know. I realize that. Please go back in line. I know.........."
Finally, a boy comes up to me after all the others have left, very seriously, and said, "I heard Eric say the word that means this."

And then he gave me the finger. In front of a whole playground full of teachers, students and parents. It was one of those moments that you remember in slow motion.

I knew that he thought that it was a nicer way of saying the same thing, so I talked to him a bit about why we don't use that gesture.

Even though I think it's sad that second graders know the f-word, this one of my best stories. I told this story one time to some friends and one person said that when he was working with kids a student came to him and complained that someone had called him the j-word. When he asked him what the j-word was he said, "Jerk."

Quote of the Day

"Retirement is when people get really old and they just stop working. Then they can do whatever they want. My grandpa goes golfing every day."

- a first grader

I just walked to the library and stopped by Zupan's. When I was coming out of Zupans an older (probably homeless) man asked me a question. I couldn't understand what he was asking me because he didn't have any teeth so I asked him to repeat himself.

"Do you currently indulge in the habit of nicotine?"

Now I don't often get asked if I have any smokes because I really don't look like I smoke, but this is the most creative way I have ever been asked for a cigarette.