"I'm warning you, I'm not a counselor, I'm not even a middle school teacher," I said to the middle school "behavior management specialist" whom I was there to replace. Once in a while there are not enough substitutes to go around and the automated voice calls you for a job you are not really qualified for. I guess, technically, I am a certified teacher. But let me tell you, the middle schoolers and I both know that I'm not supposed to be there.

I wonder how the behavior management specialist ended up teaching golf? This was the only class I had to teach in the afternoon so I made my mind up that I could make it through. I went to the gym thinking that there would be a person coming to teach golf and I would just be there to help. When I got to the gym the PE teacher told me that the golf teacher would not be there today. "Good luck", she said. I have learned that when someone tells you good luck (especially secretaries) it's never a good thing.

So it's really hard for me to look like I know what I am doing when I don't - especially when it comes to sports. The only other times I taught junior high I made the mistake of telling them I was really an elementary school teacher. That was not a good move.

I'll have to say that the golf lesson went very well. I even have to say that the day was rather amusing, although I will never go back. Paul wants to go back to school next year to be a middle school science teacher. I say good luck.

Student: I'm so tired. I stayed up all night because of that scary movie.
ME: What movie?
Student: Snow White

Oh, and get this: Paul spent the whole time we were at the library - almost two hours - in the math section. I love my husband.

As Paul and I were walking out of the library tonight I whispered to Paul, "Sometimes the library is a scary place." There was a man bugging a librarian because "he was very unhappy with their service". All I have to say is, you've hit an all time low when you feel you have to harass a LIBRARIAN.

I was a middle school counselor last week for (thank goodness) only half a day. I'm sure there will be more on this later. It was quite a harrowing experience. I don't want to give it all away but I actually had to teach GOLF. I know some of you who know me well are laughing right now because the actual amount of coordination and knowledge that I have in this area could be contained in a hollow easter egg.
More on this later...
(I took notes while I was there for my blog knowing that it was good material - I think I am a blogging nerd)

Paul and I were teaching Preschool Children's Church yesterday and we were learning about the Good Samaritan. I asked the kids if they could tell me the story and one boy did. When we got to the part where the man gets rescued he said, "And then the American guy came and helped him out."

I was teaching kindergarten today. I was supervising recess when one of my students came.

Student: I have to go to the bathroom.
ME: You can go inside and use the bathroom.
Student: Or I could just go out here.
ME: Thats not a good idea.